In the post, user u/throwaway_1028585, a 24-year-old female, explained that after losing her mother at 7, she then stopped speaking to her dad and stepmother aged 18, and has recently been criticized by her family for refusing to reconnect with her father.

The young woman continued to explain the difficult situation, describing how her father and his new wife had a son, who developed cancer when he was 3 years old.

“The mantra was that my brother needed to be the focus because he might die so I needed to not be selfish since I was healthy. I stopped trying to talk to him when I was 16 and it was a dark time,” the Redditor explained, saying that her teenage years were spent alone or at her grandparents.

She described how recently her father reached out and she responded with a presentation of her diary entries from her teenage year “where I had talked about being frustrated and feeling abandoned and unwanted, some with literal quotes of things my dad had said to me during arguments. Even the really dark stuff from when I was seriously depressed.”

The Redditor added: “Then I ended it with a photo of one of my mom’s collages where she had written “Remember that your dad and I are always here for you” and I wrote “You failed. Go away.” underneath. I felt like him being able to see it from my literal perspective would communicate why I don’t want him back better than I could.

“Evidently it worked, but a little too well because I’ve been bombarded by family telling me that it’s understandable that I don’t want to see him, but what I sent gutted him and he’s completely fallen apart after reading through it and it was unnecessarily cruel.”

In an update, she revealed that her half-brother died a few years ago and her father is now going through a divorce. However, she added: “I don’t want anything to do with him and I’ve told them that I don’t want to hear about anything that happens after this point, but the rest of his family love him so for their sake I hope he pulls himself together.”

Ruth E. Freeman, LCSW, founder and president of Peace at Home Parenting Solutions, told Newsweek about this difficult situation.

“This story is truly heart-breaking on so many levels. Here, we have a young child who loses her mom, then has a step-parent who wants to walk into that role with little understanding about how it might affect the child, and then another loss of father’s attention and ultimately a half-sibling,” Freeman said.

“Anger is one stage of grief, and when it comes to her father, it seems she may be a bit stuck there. What children want from parents is to feel seen, safe, soothed and secure.

“We can see by her decision to share her diary entries with him that she still wants to be seen by him but she is re-living the lack of soothing, safety and security that she experienced with him when his son became ill,” Freeman added.

“As she matures, we can hope that daughter will see how complicated human beings really are and come to some understanding about the limitations that both her father and stepmother seemed to display here.

“She has every right to be angry and outraged about the ways she was treated and the neglect she experienced. And she certainly has the right to share her story with her father,” Freeman said.

“She may want to rethink that complete ending of the relationship and perhaps give him an opportunity to at least make his apologies and if he is able to make amends to her.

“She doesn’t have to have an ongoing relationship with him, but perhaps she wants to give him space to communicate his regrets, which may be helpful to both of them. She doesn’t need to forgive him, but it may help her to understand him a bit better.”

Reddit users voted that the OP was not in the wrong, with tikanique posting, “I am so sorry your dad wasn’t who he was supposed to be in your life. Sometimes sharing your pain in very real detail is the only way to get the message through.

“You may remain NC (no contact) or maybe you will forgive him. Either way he now knows exactly why you two are at this point and that the responsibility is completely on him.”

Redditor Wrong-Construction40 commented: “He’s gutted because he’s had to look at the actual consequences of his actions- the pain he caused his child. Yea that probably sucks, but maybe he should have been a better dad.”

AkechiFangirl wrote: “Exactly this. If that kid had beat his cancer, then dad would have never bothered to speak up.”

Newsweek has reached out to u/throwaway_1028585 for comment.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.